DumbDumbBells

-OH DEARIE ME.

I am so sorry for the lack of updates but you can expect to blog more often now. Why, you may ask? BECAUSSSE, I finally stopped working and now I am sitting my ass back in school. It's so great, I tell you.

I know, I know, this post is very abrupt but then since today's school started at 10 and ended at 12, Regan asked me to have a lil lunch with him and then I got to rush to my sister's place because she is passing me some perfumes(Burberry Holiday, anyone?) and clothes that she bought and never could fit due to her pregnancy. Which is ironic because that means I could only fit into something if that person gets pregnant. And just plain rude. But I agree, there are a few rolls that have made itself comfortable on my stomach and everywhere else. It has been sitting there so long, I am even considering naming them. BLEAGH.And then I am off to work. Actually, I am contemplating whether I should continue working or not. Oh well, more about that later.

I know this is rude of me but I am just going to leave you guys with some MOMO=MOS pics taken ages ago and there are still some more pics with Fi but I have not taken from her yet because my internet connection have been suspended due to lil Miss Forgetful, namely, yours truly who forgot to change her billing address.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

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TO REGAN:

It has been awhile since we have been together and I just wanted to say that I still feel like it was just yesterday I put on too much make-up and had to wipe it all away.

HEART YOU.

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On another note,

All the preparations paid off. NYS and FI, you take most credit for this.

Introducing...

Click on the picture to view our webby

5fekta

Go take a lookie.

Cheap and Customized clothings just for you Fashionistas.

You won't regret it!

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Working once again a 10-6 job five days a week have made me CRAVE for Fridays.

You know, the usual,
Monday: You drag your ass to the bathroom and wash away the slumber from your eyes and feel the water strip you of the remains of the fun of the weekend. And as you take up your seat in the office, you sense the impending doom that is going to happen and will only stop on Friday.

Tuesday: You feel like taking a day off to celebrate surviving Monday and celebrating the coming of the mid-week.

Wednesday: You wake up thinking that it is Thursday and feel like disappearing to nowhere.

Thursday: You get excited about Friday and wish that Friday would be a half day because hanging on till 6 is the hardest thing to do.

Friday: You slack around and finish up the loose threads of the week's work and when the clock strikes six, u throw confetti in the air and fill your system with beer.

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So today is Friday and I went to work by cab. I hate wasting money on cab in the morning. But I wasn't really feeling so well and I was a lil late so... ok lah. Today all the students on attachment from SP and NP are leaving the office. Would miss all of them, really. The office is already very silent. After lunch, my head started throbbing and I felt nauseous. Apart from that, I was really looking forward to meeting Regan today which was the bigger reason why I left work early buit it turns out, I shouldn't have bothered.

Anyway, it is Friday and I still miss him though I am not sure it's the same same feeling I had in the morning.

BAH!

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

So sorry people. I am like so busy just trying to catch up with the holidays before school re-opens. Okay, so my plan is this. For the next three weeks, I am just going to try my best to invest my time and effort in getting extra money for shopping when school starts. The bad news? Right now, I am so broke because i have to pay my bill by this week.

Saturday was fun. Went to MOS but the stoopid main arena was so packed, it was frustrating. Smoove was closed so me, Fiffy, Era and Fi headed over to Momo. FIFFY? LOL. Funny eh, why we clashed over high school-ish stuff. Photos will be up soon.

Regan came back home from KL. Thank God, i didn't know how much I will miss him till he actually left. And he came back and we ravished each other. OMG, did I say that out loud? And no, that is not the ONLY reason why I missed him, ok.

Just came back home from meeting the girls to talk about the project we were working on. So expect something real soon and we promise to bring you much more exciting stuff. I missed them so much. There was talk about the Cannery next Wednesday and a picnic next weekend.

My family's going down the drain but there is no sense in something that can never happen no matter how much you want it to happen. I am a lot numb already. You know? Nah, how would you know?

Oh well. I need to go and hit the sack. Head's spinning.

Friday, April 6, 2007

Sorry guys, I am a Blogger kind of person at heart.

So I am back. Sorry for the real lack of absence. A lot of things are happening now, at home and all.

Everything at home is haywire now. You would not believe how much I do not want to wake up in the morning to go to work. But i got to, you know. With everything that is happening in the house right now, I have to hold on strong. Fucking bastard, ruining our lives.

Been working for the past 1 week or so in MSH direct as a telemarketeer for UOB till 30th April before school starts again. Truth be told, I cannot wait for me to start studying again. Till then, I am going to enjoy the holidays while it lasts. Regan just went to KL, leaving me here all alone. Tsk.

Anyway,I dun really know what to post so..

I really was calling!

MOS tomorrow night! Yeah!

It's like a dream

I was working on something that you guys would know about very soon and now my head hurts from bending over. Wait, that did not sound right. I prefer PCs to laptops anytime, bleagh.

So have been busy working, fighting to keep within my curfew (middle finger), working on 5's project (pssst...the tots and I are currently in the middle of something. Clue: You might want to keep checking my site which will change again, or Fi's site , but she has a password but no worries, we'll keep you posted. Gear up for some online shopping.)

Where was I? Oh yes, all that and still making time for Regan, my brother and most importantly, myself. Honestly, I find it all exhilirating if not for my darn curfews. Blasted results.
Would love to continue typing but I better get some shut eye before Monday arrives and I feel all energy stripped away from me again. Gym tomorrow sounds good. It has been a while, see? I'll continue working a lil bit more on my blogskin but dun expect anything grand. I am still learning.
Oh yeah, anybody wanna sign up for a credit card?

p.p.s: Guys in uniform makes me go ooh BABEY!

It seems a lil easier

zulaikha. Shamikha.blogspot.com says:
Bb, everyday I wake up and when u message me, I feel that everything's still a ok

zulaikha. Shamikha.blogspot.com says:
just knowing that you are still with me

zulaikha. Shamikha.blogspot.com says:
thank you

Regan says:
awww geeeeeeee

Regan says:
thanks you bb

Regan says:
for constantly putting a smile on my face

Regan says:
though u can be frustratingly kental sometimes

Have I told you guys how much I adore Regan? I do, and saying adore is already being subtle because I am this close to jumping and shouting a word that was once a taboo to even think about.

Honestly, these past few days have been a lil bit tough for me. Keeping in mind that some of it could be contributed by the fact that I was down with the flu+sorethroat epidemic which had my mind swirling in a cloudy haze. But most of it because of the two overgrown babies who are also unfortunately my parents.

Well, like what i said in my previous post, today, I started the day with a new slate and went on interviews with my brother. No luck so far. Maybe it's because I am like super choosy.
These days, I feel like everything's hanging on a thin thread. Scary, you know?
(sorry, this is random)

Regan's pissed because I forgot that I had dinner plans with his family and told him that I had plans with the girls. I sincerely forgot and he just treated me coldly. Now, I sincerely forgot. It's not that I put the girls before him or that the fact that he reminded me twice did not mean shit to me. I honestly forgot. My mistake but I don't think he can just give me the cold shoulder. Bah! To think I was writing about how much I missed him.
Told you, everything's hanging on a thin thread. It takes a lil push for everything to take a 180 degrees change, from ecstatic to confused once again.
Sometimes, the sensations you feel on a daily basis excites me but after a while, you just get a little numb and you dun give a half fuck if you lose everything.

And at times, you wish it would happen.

I guess that's that.

Well, apology accepted, i guess. I am done with trying to make things happen the way I want things to happen. Like what mum said, 'Dun think that this is life and that's all there is because there is more. You are only beginning'.
To tell you the truth, I am sick and tired of fighting. I am sick of trying to make a change of their mindsets which had been set for decades. No matter how stupid they are. There is a bigger problem that is swept under the rug here. A bigger problem that leads to everything that is happening. And who am I to come and tell them what principles they lack and that their common sense is practically non existent. Fact is, I knew what was on the line the moment I decided to make the change of my life about a year ago and there is no use of whining and wanting things to be different now.
I should just accept the fact that this is not the time for me to make any life altering decisions. 2 years is so near yet so far. I am 18, I am only striving for independence, only learning. Maybe I am growing up too fast. Maybe I am thinking about things that only 20 somethings are thinking about. Marriage, settling down. Maybe I am so into the destination, I wanted to fast forward the journey.
I feel like I am struggling to understand what the hell this stupid life is about. Because they say that you take the biggest lesson from home. And home is telling me to lie and watch my back.
I once lived by the day. Let me explain, I start the day with a clean slate, see? And I go through everything with smiles. Sincere smiles,(how long have that been?) and then if something screws up that day, I try to solve it there and then. If I truly couldn't, I just let it go. And it has always been working well. Till recently, I wanted to make big changes to what's happening here. I wanted to break free. And it backfired again. (Note: again.) I want to do that again. I want to be concerned with normal trivial stuff like getting a manicure and stuff.
Because seriously, after much thought, I looked around my house today and with the slight sore throat I have been complaining incessantly about and I realised how ungrateful I am. To God, you know?
I feel grateful that I wake up everyday. I feel grateful when Regan calls me everyday. I feel grateful that I am not handicapped. I feel grateful that I am able to filll my tummy whenever hunger pangs strike. And i should.
So I'll say forget the past and Cheers to a brand new tomorrow.

To take the first step is always the hardest.

I just got my results today and though it is not that bad and i kind of expected it, my parents are thinking that I am still going out too much.
And they have asked me to leave the house one too many times. While, of course, I am afraid of the consequences if i leave, i think the main reason why I am petrified is, can I really adapt to the changes if I really pack up and leave? What's there to lose? Is this really going to mean the first step towards making a change in my life that i always wanted?
Should i stay or should I go?
Once again, the question reappears. Should i answer it once and for all?